i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
