i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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