It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
