Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize