Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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