so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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