the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
