if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
