i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize