just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
