But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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