best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
