i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
