so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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