woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
