Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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