From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
