my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
