i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
