Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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