I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
