so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
