I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
