this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
