she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
dude. I can hear the air.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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