I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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