Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I queefed so loud it echoed.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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