I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
