its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize