Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
