am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
