Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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