Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
only you would photoshop your dick
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
