My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
