I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
