I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
