Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize