i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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