When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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