I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
