What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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