She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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