Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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