he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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