dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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