She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
