It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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