His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
