She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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