I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
There's always time for handjobs
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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