wanna go halves on a baby?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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