Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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