I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
People in love make me want to vomit
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
