Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
