Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Operation Purity has been aborted
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
