Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(740): View more from Ohio

no more hot dogs for you........

(1-740): View more from Ohio

fine no more vajj for you

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....

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(440): View more from Ohio

omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad

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(503): View more from Oregon

I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.

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(509): View more from Washington

walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.

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(817): View more from Texas

Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.

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(805): View more from California

how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy

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(765): View more from Indiana

That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis

(1-765): View more from Indiana

Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced

(1-765): View more from Indiana

and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!

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