I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
