i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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