I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If I die, sorry about rent.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
