even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
