I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
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